in the midst of everything wretched
sometimes something genuine, something good happens...bullshit is flinging all around you...
but you actually take time out to cry.
i came to work that friday, knowing i had a job interview. knowing that the place i used to love, was going to be dead creepy...with 8 people laid off, i was hesitant to see the faces of my coworkers and friends.
the crutched up and rather uppity cat that used to sit next to me, my cubicle love, if you will...i will - he was laid to the off.
and this is someone i spent two years hating. and by hating i mean making fun of, relentlessly name calling...images...conjuring images in my head of him falling off of his bike on a quaint brooklyn street...falling off of a barstool at capones, drunk from the beer special - whilst trying to chat up some wannabe hipster chick with her way too expensive ensemble from urban outfitters...but that's not my point...
here's my point...
he was miserable to me. day in and day out.
for the sake of this blog, i will lovingly refer to him as i always have...
el capitano de los pantalones cortos...captain short pants for you gringos.
his pants were high, always...approximately 6" from the top of his shoe when he sat and 3" when he stood up...
miserable, like how...you may ask?
i mean who the eff sits next to you and never says hi when you say goodmorning?
who the eff tells you to lower your tv when it's not even loud enough for you to hear it? we work in tv for effs sake...
who the eff crunches their apple, slurps their coffee, takes off their shoes, sleeps at their desk, plays air drums - and dares to have the nerve to ask you to lower your voice a tad when you're on the phone?
who the eff walks past you and actually bumps your arm while you're holding a hot beverage?
eff that.
eff him.
i let him know i hated him, hated him right back.
i would laugh. i would send out mass emails to my friends in the cubicles around me, laughter coming out of every girls mouth in rapid succession. he would say something to me...i would send out an email...laughs. he knew we were all over him.
i dreamed of launching my clementine pits over the cubicle wall - so they would land ever so softly in his giant nest of uncombed hair...
i dreamed off offering him a cookie - him choking...me, watching him suffer...
i'm sick. i know.
so that friday...
his last day...
capitano turns to me...
capitano: do you have a second to talk
the crutcha: uh huh
capitano: i just want to let you know that i know it was my fault...i've spent two years being nasty to you and i know i started it. i came into work, everyday, unhappy and trying to get other things done that weren't about being here...
the crutcha: (speechless...just nodding)
capitano: so, i'm sorry...
the crutcha: i'm sorry too, capitano...i wasn't kind to you either...and i could have acted maturely and talked to you about it...
capitano: no, no, crutcha...the way you acted was a direct response to my negative actions and attitude..
the crutcha: well thank you, capitano...i hope everything goes well - and i'm sorry. i have to go to a job interview now, but be well...
captiano: (he stands...he's coming closer...he's hugging me...what the eff?) well goodluck, i hope it all works out for you too...(capitano exits our land of cubicles)
this mother effer made me cry.
after two years, i felt like the biggest douche on the face of the earth.
i couldn't believe it.
i still can't believe it.
do you think he actually felt bad for being a royal a-hole?
or was he doing a karmic clean-up? like he knows he's been a douche, thinks that's why he was laid off...and now he's back tracking and kissing my grits for forgiveness...
who the eff knows?
i don't have a clue.
either way, capitano crutched me up.
and i thank him for it.
rarely a time goes by where in i am speechless..
but he did it...
you will remain, forever...in my heart, capitano...
posted by tinamarie @ 10:52 AM
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