dating your uncle?
i had an impromptu date last night.i usually love the idea of spur of the moment drinks.
a man with a sense of adventure - you know, if afterwork drinks even qualifies in that category.
i had been emailing this cat for about two weeks, which is sort of longish.
i prefer meeting someone after a few exchanges - so expectations aren't high...
there wasn't a ton of writing, so it felt fine. i wasn't really thinking anything about the situation.
he was 39. good looking. very. wrote really well. tall. dark. sharp. flirty in his emails, but nothing that turned my stomach.
he called yesterday and asked if i'd be around for a drink...
i figured, sure...
the scene of the crime:
art bar.
i love art bar.
and i'm sad it's been tainted for me.
which now means i need to go back there with someone i actually like - or a posse of friends and some white sage, so i can do a karmic clean-up in there.
he made me nervous.
i don't think it was the age thing; but maybe the age thing coupled with his ruthless flirting.
he was staring at me. that always makes me nervous.
i don't like feeling as though someone is taking inventory on me.
they weren't sweet stares, they were more calculated and pronounced.
and let's clear it up, i wasn't good nervous. he made me sick nervous.
i rarely get sick nervous.
i wish it was that good nervous - oh is he gonna kiss me nervous.
evidently my body was telling me something.
he was engaging.
he had me laughing.
he's jewish.
he was cracking jew jokes the entire time.
i ranked on my own italian goddess-ness...
i had 2 and a 1/2 glasses of wine.
a cake walk for me.
he had 5 scotches.
he was flirty before the booze.
*read: you have beautfiul eyes, amazing lips, you're so tall*
i think i've said it before, me and compliments - no good. it makes me even more sheepish.
it was the way he was saying it. the way he was looking at me when he said it.
someone else could have said the same thing, and it wouldn't have felt the same way.
in fact, other men have said the same things - and stared - and i'd been nervous - but this was different.
i knew it was trouble when he walked in, rubbed my back and went straight for the kiss on the cheek - and grabbed my arm...a little too friendly, i don't effing know.
come to 10:10...
he lays on the kissing banter, thick...
he kisses my hand...
he's trying to make me swoon, i believe - but i was sort of chucking in my mouth...
we're sitting side by side, in a coner at the bar...
uncle: 'i have to kiss you.'
niece: 'excuse me...'
uncle: 'i mean, i have to kiss you. your lips are beautiful.' (he leans in, takes his arms and wraps them around me)
niece: 'thank you. but, i don't want to kiss you like this.' (the bar was semi crowded, i could smell the scotch on his breath. he was being way too flirty. not cute flirty, creepy flirty)
*disclaimer: i've made out in bars. eff, everyone does. but this wasn't whimsical and airy - this was some dude pressing on me and throwing cheeseball compliments my way and looking at me like i was a ham hock. i'm flirty. i couldn't even flirt back. it was uncomfortable*
uncle: 'you think anyone in here gives a shit if we kiss? now, if you don't want to kiss me - that's fine - although highly insulting...but if it's because there's people in here...that's bullshit.'
niece: 'i'm not trying to insult you, i'm just letting you know that it's not happening now. i have to really get going."
*i don't think i've ever had such a conversation over a kiss before. it should just happen. no one should ask. you shouldn't have to ask.*
uncle: 'come on. let me get you another glass of wine.'
niece: 'i'm going. thank you.'
i was polite.
i was demure.
i put on my jacket.
he stood up.
he grabbed me and said: 'hey shorty. hey you cute thing.'
i was wondering what the eff was going on in my world right now...
what had i done to make the dating demi-gods so angry?
i walked out.
there was an ass grope.
he owanted to walk me to the train.
we started off...
somehow, he got in front of me - grabbed me, on the corner of Jane St. - and said, 'i'm not letting go until you kiss me. you're going to kiss me.'
i was swinging my head around so much, that i looked like an efffing bobble head doll.
i think i gave myself whiplash.
he got me.
fuck, this sounds like the cheesiest date man pusher story ever - but it's effing true...
like an effing afterschool special.
i told him i was going to get a cab. (the thought of him walking me to the train made me ill)
he said he wanted to have drinks again.
i ran out into traffic to hail my ride.
he comes at me from behind and grabs me again and kisses me.
he came at me with his mouth completely open.
the cab driver even looked ill. as i was standing in front of the open door...
he told me to get in the car.
i called temporican - who's all for older man love....
and i explained this was the first time - ever - that someone treated me this way...
i called my wise lady friend shortly after - she cautioned me against going out with the man to begin with...
i hate to say it.
i hate to sound this way.
i hate it.
but i felt like my young ass was being poached by an old native hunter.
this was upsetting. thoroughly.
and i so wish i could do a better job of getting it all down, but it's early - it's too fresh and i actually feel slightly traumatized.
the first time is often a lot to get over.
posted by tinamarie @ 7:16 AM
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