No Nerve, Never

progress report

if i had a penis, i'd have a ginormous boner for my physical therpaist...
but i'm a woman.
all woman.
so i bring extra panties instead.

fuck, if anyone from my family ever reads this...
i might be mortified...
for a hot minute...
then i'd get over it...
and so would they...

i had an appointment with my little tikka masala on valentine's day.
he was in a bad mood.
i felt unloved.
he pushed my body hard (not in a good way).
i left feeling empty.

this morning was different.
he said "good work, great job today."
and i thought, if you think i'm that good on my back - you wait and see.

he's married.
forgive me father for i want to covet another woman's curry.
but i love him.

he wants me to wear shorts to my next session.
he said wearing shorts makes things easier for him because he has to go all the way up my leg.

you do realize if he sees me in shorts, this relationship is over...
i can hang with him hiking my sweats up to the top of my thigh and rubbing me down...
but shorts...
that has vulnerable written all over it.

that's all my junk spread out on a table.
no thanks.
in broad daylight.

we're going to get past this together.
i'll continue to wear sweats.
he'll continue to creep his hands up my leg...
i think it's sexier that way.
who am i to make things that easy.

and we'll all continue to fantasize sweetly.

i mean, shit. i'm not asking him to rub me down in his knickers...
maybe that could be arranged...

posted by tinamarie @ 6:09 PM 0 comments

Crapentine's Day

I hate Valentine's Day.
I've hated it ever since I can remember, and I don't think falling in love has ever changed that fact.

I resent that this one day has been used to sell us stuff, that if we don't partake in the festivities then maybe we don't really love our friends/families/lovers.
I hate commercially pushy holidays, and I think this one takes the cake (some people still believe in the true meaning of Christmas, right?).

That said, I am planning a dinner for two. So maybe I'm a hypocrite.
I've tried to convince myself that I'm doing it because it's an excuse to us get out of work/school early and spend some alone time.

But really, I think I may have just succumbed to the hype.
I mean, I am in love, so I guess this is a day for those of us who were formerly funny, tough people, and through the magic of someone else have become sappy, co-dependent wimps.

Hooray.

posted by Cristina @ 7:32 PM 0 comments

let's get physical, physical

7:30 this morning...
i was being fondled.

no, not by my friend - whom i've been sharing a bed with for the past week- but by my physical therapist.

my first thought, when i called my dr's office for a referral, was: 'shit, i hope he's not that ugly - or that cute - or has really small gross, feminine hands.'

in fact, i was pleasantly surprised...

indian, but not a hint of curry in the air.

tall - of course dark - and handsome.
not so handsome it was intimidating, but just handsome enough for me to want him to touch me.
hands.
good hands.

he began by making me march in place, laying me down on the table and the massaging my knee.
i lay there - in the supine position - one leg flat to the table and the other bent to the side.
i was grinning.
i let out a small giggle.
i thought: 'wow, how sick is your honky ass - you're actually turned on right now.'

i cannot wait until next wednesday night.
next friday morning.
i gotta hit that up one mas time next week...
i am, afterall, covered for three days of groping.

a girl's gotta get her money's worth.
shit.

posted by tinamarie @ 3:45 PM 0 comments