i'm ashamed of my actions, but not really
at approximately 8:30 this morning, before my first cup of green tea...i trolled...
yes, the nerve.
i had to see if this cat's profile was still up.
god, if he's reading this...if you're reading this...
now i really sound like a lunatic...
and i would be confirmed nuts, according to him...
but every woman knows she's done something similar...
i had to see.
i mean, i went on the other day, it was still up - he just hadn't logged on in three weeks...
the same thing while he was dating me.
but instead of taking his profile off of the interweb, he kept it up...
trolling for alternate booty.
and that's fine. that wasn't even my concern the whole time i was dating him.
i've had many encounters with males that troll for booty, that's why it's called dating...everyone is open to options.
what i always wanted to know was what was up with his whole i don't do the phone thing?
i felt like an e-whore. reduced to checking my email for meeting places and times on my effing cell phone - the minute i was out of the tunnel and crossing the bridge into queens. and i'm sure if there was service underground, i would have been checking it on the subway...
i'm just wondering.
ok, obsessing...
as to whether or not he broke the phone thing. i guess he would have. i guess it's just that i wasn't the person he was breaking his rule for. even though i never - and i stand by this - wanted him to call me every night like i was his girlfriend - i wanted the courtesy of being acknowledged as something more than a ride on the long email chain of sleepovers.
but i wasn't. so he didn't.
just the convenience of i'm coming over at 10 for a little wine and heavy petting...i don't think it's much...
i think imma stopping this, now.
i think imma go out today and party like it's 1999.
i think imma dance around my apartment to reggaeton and feel like a big booty ho.
i think imma take down the friendster.
it's a big step.
and i fear he may view this as a direct result of him being in a relationships and the fact that i can't handle it, one year later...
but who the eff cares.
and he probably won't.
so, this would be yet another reason to stop dating via the world wide web...
it gives people to much room. too much room to ignore, too much back and forth...
you can long for this person, just because of your access to them...checking their profile, knowing when they're in a relationship...
sure that can still happen, but when it's real life - it just happens.
i would prefer bumping into someone i dated, while walking down the street, and seeing him with someone else, rather than trolling his profile all day long and wondering.
i need an e-diet. an email diet with a side of shutting down my computer for good.
i long for the day i meet someone, in person - he has no phone issues - gives me his number and we actually talk.
internet dating has made things more complicated by simplifying actions.
email is nice. but email gets tired. texting is fun when you're drunk and your friends are in different time zones. you don't want to date a man who emails and texts you everything.
do you?
or maybe i'm the only one this shit doesn't work for...
posted by tinamarie @ 9:15 AM
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