we're back, bitches.
alright. i have something to say.i believe i am cursed with a libido meant for a man. i think maybe i was supposed to be a guy (with long, curly blonde hair), and in the end, God(dess) said, lemme have a little fun. and i became the lovely, cross bones style, me.
but i really do think i have a problem. not because i dont get any, cause, ahem, i do. that isn't the problem. the problem are the streets of new york. the problem is dreadlocks. and white teeshirts. and maybe beards and definitely glasses. maybe shaved heads, and maybe height-gifted people. and dark skin tones, and light skin tones with dark eyebrows. and broad backs. fucking broad backs.
you see, it's 7 am and i took my dog for a walk earlier. and i basically mind-raped every semi-to-ridiculously hot man that walked by me. regardless of race, sexual preference, even age. i wanted to do em all. this happens to me every single day. (except when i'm in a hipster neighborhood and the men weigh less than i do. not hot unless you're tommy lee, ok?)
my brother, who's history is as monogamous as mine (booooring), often says that he just isn't sure if he can just marry one person. not because we're sluts, but because we WISH we were. instead of my shitty-ass single digit sexual history, i wish i had the balls (and the std-free environment of never) to walk up to every hot old dude i see on the street, and hump them.
what i'm saying is, as richard bey used to say every friday, CAN THIS RELATIONSHIP BE SAVED?
my relationship with monogamy, i mean.
posted by Cristina @ 7:15 AM
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